What happens when you take a pair of Christmas music fans and add a couple of cocktails?  Well if they write for Rocker Magazine, you get and a round robin e-mail exchange of Christmas songs ranging from the weird to the wonderful. Hopefully Brett and Amy’s musings below will bring you both some new treasures and forgotten faves to add to your Christmas soundtrack for 2013.   
 
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Brett:
 
Always a pleasure to share Christmas music with you, Amy!
 
For starters I give you a track from the first album I ever remember hearing on the family stereo, “A Ding Dong Dandy Christmas!” by the Three Suns. As a child I loved this dearly without realizing how off the wall it really was. Listen, for instance, to what they did with “Sleigh Ride” It starts out as jungle exotica…but with an accordion? And a klezmer-style soprano sax taking the main melody? Not to mention the guitarist who keeps trying to step forward and practice his jazz licks. It gets even hipper at around 1:45, when two organists take off on a duel that has precious little to do with the rest of the song. And the jungle riff comes back whenever the sleigh threatens to run into the ditch. This record definitely left a mark, even today I always picture a sleigh cutting through the snow to those wild bells and congas. Musical mischief at its finest, and my love for prog rock should make more sense once you hear it.
 

 
But I know you can top that if anyone can…
 
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Amy:
 
A fine choice! I did not grow up with this Christmas album, but I would have to say, for me, the best version of Sleigh Ride has to be The Ventures.  Love, love, love it!  Surf guitars juxtaposed with a song about a sleigh ride through the snow is perfection to my ears.
 

 
As for childhood memories, the Christmas album for me is Vince Guaraldi Trio from The Charlie Brown Christmas. Christmastime is Here, both the vocal and instrumental versions make me happy and definitely herald in the holiday season. There are cover versions that are pretty great, but this original is like putting on a warm cozy sweater and sipping a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows and a shot of Bailey’s in it.
 

 
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Brett:
 
Lovely stuff Amy, and that Ventures album is definitely close to my heart– to the point where  I can’t hear the normal version of “Walk Don’t Run” without expecting it to turn seasonal.
 
So, while we were conversing at a Yuletide function last weekend, I learned that we’re both fans of the English comedy team The Goodies—who, for the uninitiated, were kind of the cuddlier G-rated version of Monty Python. But you hadn’t heard their Christmas record, so I’m proud to share “Make a Daft Noise for Christmas”:
 

 
Where to start with the brilliance of this one? For one thing it has that mid-70s English glam-rock-gone-funky sound, I am guessing that the lead guitarist had just locked himself away with Bowie’s “Fame” for a week. The whole thing is gonna refuse to leave your head for days after you hear it. And let’s just say that the first two lines of the song seem awfully resonant this year…..For that matter the whole lyric sounds pretty punkish-anarchic to me: “Let ’em all stare, they’re calling us crazy and we don’t care, it’s Christmas!” Could Johnny Rotten have said it better?
 
And of all the daft noises made in this song, I have to say that I like “Wok-pukka-pukka-puk” the best.
 
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Amy:
 
Wow, that was an unexpected blast from the past. I kinda remember the Goodies theme song but definitely not this Christmas song!
 
So after listening to “Make a Daft Noise for Christmas”, I’m torn, do I respond with a kinda goofy song, one with a strong British accent, or one that is completely different?  Completely different it is!  Here’s a cool and sexy song from Danish duo The Ravonettes, “The Christmas Song.”  Bonus is a great video that has an appearance of The Nightmare Before Christmas’ Jack Skellington. Exquisite!
 

 
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Brett:
 
Lovely song that.  The Raveonettes always sound a bit Christmassy to me, no mattter they’re singing about. Okay, you knew I was going to stick a New Orleans record in here somewhere, right? So I now present proof that the greatest Christmas music is always done by…. really drunk people.  Back in 1962, a bunch of Crescent City hepcats tried to make a nice, mainstream Christmas album and failed beautifully. Among the tracks are a version of “The NIght Before Christmas” where the singer can’t pronounce “chimbley”…and this little gem, about Santa Claus’ decision to split the North Pole, because “people down there don’t rock and roll.”  You’d have to be pretty high, or at least geographically impaired, to refer to the North Pole as “down there.”
 

 
Though this record is officially by Huey Piano Smith & the Clowns– who had a great hit with “Don’tcha Just Know It,”– every early rock n’ roller in NO is said to have been in on the sessions. In fact, listen to the lead singer here– sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Yep, that’s a twenty-soemthing Mac Rebennack, years before he took on the persona of Dr. John.
 
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Amy:
 
Not at all surprised about the New Orleans selection, very appropriate and a Big Easy Christmas is always welcome.
 
Here’s my next choice which I consider a modern day classic that involves Christmas Eve, a drunk tank, the boys of the NYPD, a scumbag, a maggot, the incomparable Kirsty MacColl  and of course The Pogues. It’s “Fairy Tale of New York” and no one sings a Christmas song quite like Shane MacGowen and we believe his story of being locked up on Christmas Eve (true or not, I just don’t care). I love this song, it’s a little dark, poignant, and endearing. Plus the video has Matt Dillon as a cop, how cool is that?
 

 
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Brett:
 
Okay, enough of the meaningful stuff, it’s time to rock. And you can count on the greatest garage band of ‘em all, the Sonics, to give us one of the most rocking Christmas songs ever. Talk about the Christmas spirit, these guys have it: “I want a brand new car…a twangy guitar…a cute little honey…and lots of money!” Truly, all those Live Aid guys couldn’t have said it better.
 

 
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Amy:
 
Ramones singing a Christmas song, yes please, Merry Christmas (I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight). Love the cheesy video and love Joey’s singing and sentiment. It is pretty much the quintessential punk Christmas carol.
 

 
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Brett:
 
I’ll admit to a weakness for Bob & Doug McKenzie’s “12 Days of Christmas”—you know with the beer in the tree—but they have nothing on Frankie Ford, whose true love gives him “The 12 Drinks of Christmas” and he consumes them all before the song runs out. Things get a bit dicey in the later days, when he’s calling for “eleven marna-gritas…eight reega-shivels—and a tree with a bird in it!”
 

 
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Amy:
 
Time for a sing-along Slade performing Merry Christmas Everybody is just plain fun. This is perennial holiday favorite and has charted so many times since its debut in 1973 with 18 times in the UK alone. It just makes me smile and sing along.
 

 
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Brett:
 
While we’re on the subject, a band called Somewhere did one for us prog-rockers: Yes, it’s the “12 Days of Progmas,” where your true love delivers five Mellotrons, three pretentious lyrics, two concept albums..and of course, zero ladies dancing. Extra in-joke points for the video, which puts Tull’s Aqualung and Genesis’ Slipperman in Santa costumes. 
 

 
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Amy:
 
Not necessarily a Christmas song but it’s a winter favorite of mine. The Pixies covering Neil Young’s Winterlong. It’s wistful and sad and beautiful. The Pixies’ cover has ruined the original version for me.
 

 
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Brett:
 
I’ll sign off with two versions of my favorite traditional carol, “We Three Kings.” I just found out about the one Blondie did in 2009, and I’m amazed: It sounds just like vintage Blondie, far more than anything on their reunion albums. I swear this could have fit on Parallel Lines.
 

 
Then there’s the Roches’ version, which is just plain beautiful. I could live without the smooth-jazz sax but those harmonies are just otherworldly, and they don’t shy away from the more haunting aspects of the lyric.
 

 
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Amy:
 
I’ll sign off with 2 songs too. One cool and one WTF. From the band Morphine with the late Mark Sandman bringing their low rock moodiness and coolness to the holiday season with Sexy Christmas Baby Mine. Such a great song for when you’re having a blue Christmas: soulful, mournful, seductive, sexy and haunting… gorgeous.
 

 
And in the WTF category I give you Bob Dylan’s It Must Be Santa. Just watch the video and you’ll see what I mean.